December 18, 2009

WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT OUTSIDE THE HOME:

30 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You: Two dozen servers reveal the truth about what goes on behind the kitchen doors. (Michelle Crouch, Reader's Digest)

What You Don’t Want to Know
5. When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray. A lot of times, servers don’t have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we’d stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We’d use the same fork each time.
—Kathy Kniss

6. If you make a big fuss about sending your soup back because it’s not hot enough, we like to take your spoon and run it under really hot water, so when you put the hot spoon in your mouth, you’re going to get the impression—often the very painful impression—that your soup is indeed hot.
—Chris

7. I’ve seen some horrible things done to people’s food: steaks dropped on the floor, butter dipped in the dishwater.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area

8. If your dessert says “homemade,” it probably is. But it might be homemade at a bakery three miles away.
—Charity Ohlund

9. I knew one guy—he was a real jerk—he’d go to Costco and buy this gigantic carrot cake for $10 and tell us to say it’s homemade. Then he sold it for $10 a slice.
Steve Dublanica, veteran New York waiter and author of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip—Confessions of a Cynical Waiter [...]\

SUREFIRE STEREOTYPES
In a weekly blog called “In the Weeds” for frothygirlz.com, Kansas City waitress Charity Ohlund describes her favorite customer stereotypes:

1. If you are a pack of females, you want separate checks. And I don’t mean split evenly by the number of people. I mean split down to the exact number of Diet Cokes with lime each person consumed. And if eight gals order a $14 appetizer to share, that needs to be split into $1.75 each. If you are a pack of females over age 55, I’m near tears. You want all of the above, plus you’re going to complain about every … single … thing.

2. If you look like you have an eating disorder, you do. Beautifully skinny model types move their food around the plate for two hours, or they devour the whole porterhouse and head to the ladies’ room immediately.

3. If you have a European accent, you are a horrible tipper. Accent = 10 percent. Always.

Posted by Orrin Judd at December 18, 2009 7:22 AM
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