January 17, 2005

DON'T BE MADE A MONKEY OF:

Monkey shines on 2005 market (DAVID ROEDER, January 16, 2005, Chicago Sun-Times)

Grab what's in the mattress, clean out the cash drawer, raid the rainy day account. Buy stocks and buy them now.

That's the advice of Mr. Adam Monk, the Sun-Times' high-powered and high-living financial guru. Mr. Monk, a 33-year-old cebus monkey revered in these precincts for his financial acumen, is extremely bullish about stocks.

How do I know? Because Mr. Monk showed up at the Sun-Times last week for our annual hobnob and stock-picking session and was charged up about the whole business.

A year ago, he was rather indifferent about the market and we had a hard time getting him to pick five stocks, which he does by marking the Sun-Times' stock tables with a pen. Looking back, his sentiment foreshadowed the rather limp market for 2004.

But this year, he didn't want to stop at our customary five selections for his portfolio. First, he sweet-talked every female he saw. One he wooed, then abandoned when she confided she's a lousy cook. When he turned his attention to stocks, he made every one of his picks enthusiastically, with a firm slash across the company name.


Hopefully he'll do better than the dog who did my NFL picks this weekend.

Posted by Orrin Judd at January 17, 2005 8:37 AM
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