THE MISTAKE BY THE LAKES (via Glenn Dryfoos)

Who caused the Blackout of 2003?: Tuesday Morning Quarterback doesn't know, but suggests this: Regardless, blame Canada. (Gregg Easterbrook, 8/19/03, ESPN.com)

It's about time Canada became America's universal scapegoat, as the United States is already and has been for decades the scapegoat foranything Canada doesn't like.

Canada is a threat to all we hold dear. Consider that millions of Americans cannot subscribe to NFL Sunday Ticket -- the product TMQ desires more than anything in life -- because they cannot or do not get the satellite signal of the Rupert Murdoch-owned DirecTV, which holds a monopoly over Sunday Ticket. Yet in Canada, anyone may subscribe to NFL Sunday Ticket over cable. That's right, Canadians have much better access to the viewing of NFL games than Americans do.

Plus in Canada, marijuana is close to legal. Same-gender marriage is recognized. So all these gay married Canadians are sitting around smoking pot and watching NFL Sunday Ticket -- enjoying total access to games made possible by the tax dollars of Americans! -- while in the United States, you can only drink beer, marry someone of the opposite sex and watch whatever awful woofer game your local network affiliate has chosen for you.

How long are Americans going to stand for this? If I were you, Canada, I'd drop the smug routine. The Army has to come home from Iraq someday,and it's going to be looking for something to do.

Plus, here is the news that absolutely made TMQ's week. During the blackout, there was looting in Toronto and Ottawa, while in New York City and Detroit, civic order was maintained. New Yorkers and Detroiters patiently abided by the law while Canadians engaged in pillaging! Time for our neighbor to the north to take a look in the mirror, it would seem.

Other than his inexplicable fascination with the NFL, which isn't even as good as the CFL, Mr. Easterbrook is quite correct. Evacuate the few
remaining Tories, level the rest and salt the earth. Posted by Orrin Judd at August 20, 2003 9:19 AM