RECLAIMING MARRIAGE

The Next Sexual Revolution: By practicing what it preaches on marriage, the church could transform society. (Christianity Today, 08/27/2003)

First, we must admit that the church's current record is dismal. Divorce statistics inside the church are indistinguishable from those outside.

Second, we need to repent for allowing the Zeitgeist of expressive individualism to permeate the way many of our churches relate to marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

Third, we need to restore the community context of marriage. A married couple is more than the sum of its parts. It is a thread in a community fabric. Societies are built out of people who are loyal to one another and who work and sacrifice for the common good. Expressive individualism is a poor foundation for a society, and marriages so conceived do not build loyalties or give us practice in sacrificial service. Marriages and families are schools for service.

Fourth, we need to recover the sense of human limitation inherent in marriage and family life. This is the beautiful biblical picture: a two-gendered, complementary couple improving on and channeling nature, but neither conquering it nor twisting it. [...]

Fifth, churches must help their members recover the link between marriage and procreation. In the 1970s, the evangelical subculture rightly affirmed the delights of marital sex through popular books like The Total Woman and Intended for Pleasure. ("Fundies in their undies!" joked church historian Martin Marty in response.) Unfortunately, even in the church, the procreative dimension of sex has been sidelined by economic pressures, cultural ideals, and technological fixes. Churches need to celebrate the fact that every marriage is procreative by design.

Sixth, churches must continue to help their members learn the practical skills associated with all of the challenges of married life. [...]

The truth about marriage is embedded in nature, and nature has a way of reasserting itself. Inevitably, the Big Yellow Taxi factor will come into play: People will long for what once was. The challenge to the church is to be a countercultural outpost, modeling marriage as it should be for the world. Those with an impoverished understanding of marriage will be able to grasp it only when they see the real thing.

It's time to start the revolution.

When the Wife and I went to meet with the Justice of the Peace who was to marry us--made necessary by her being Jewish and me Baptist--we went over what he'd say in the vows. He read a few samples and we asked: "Where'd the 'til death bit go?"

JP: No one says that anymore.

Us: We're going to.

JP: You can't; it's not done.

Us: Put it in.

JP: It's too old-fashioned.

Us: You expecting to get paid?

Who can be surprised that in a culture where the people doing the ceremony don't take it seriously enough to make you swear the most solemn vow possible that the institution of marriage is falling apart. Bring back the death proviso and enforce it.

MORE:
-Make marriage matter more (Jim Wooten, 8/31/03, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Posted by Orrin Judd at August 30, 2003 9:51 AM