AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

Some time ago, in the comments, I diagnosed the modern disease. It is, I said, that all people, or at least all people who are not psychotic, hold two incompatible beliefs. First, that if their individual situation and the context of their actions were truly understood, they would be accepted and admired. Second, that if their innermost thoughts and motives were known, they would be disdained.

The search for a way to square this circle motivated much of the carnage of the Twentieth Century. Communism says that we can find unquestioning acceptance from the state. Psychology says that we can love and forgive ourselves. Religion says that G-d can truly know, forgive and love us.

There is one other possibility, I wrote. In a true marriage, we can be known, accepted and loved. Today, I have been in such a marriage for fifteen years.

In a life in which luck and good fortune have not been in short supply, my greatest good fortune has been marrying my wife. It was not at all obvious to me, before the event, that I should find a true marriage. I am by no means the easiest person to live with (I can supply affidavits from any number of roommates to that effect). I am, current evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, intensely private and not given to sharing or confession. I have strong views and am not inclined to squelch them. In short, although I was always likely to marry -- among other things, I can't imagine a life without children -- it was not at all preordained that mine would be a true and happy marriage.

And yet it is, for which all credit goes to my wife. She knows me as well as I can bear to be known, and loves me. She is comfortable with my love and understands me better than I understand myself. She is a true friend and a true partner. She is a wonderful mother to our children, which is a blessing beyond measure. I have known and loved her for nearly half my life; it is impossible, now, to imagine life without her.

This is, I know, not the sort of posting people look for on the Brothers Judd (sorry, Orrin). I could not, however, let the day go by without saying: "I love you, I thank G-d for your love, Happy Anniversary." Posted by David Cohen at June 19, 2003 6:11 PM