UNCANNY

Film of the Week: Blockbuster 'X2' (Steve Sailer, 5/01/03, UPI)

Despite their multi-cultural moralizing, the X-Men films primarily appeal to straight white boys, the nerdy obsessives recently empowered by the Web to impose their tastes on pop culture through their ability to generate buzz for a movie.

The fanboys will be elated that "X2" utilizes no less than 18 of their favorite mutants. Others may find that the teeming freaks get on their nerves after awhile.

Worse, each of the dozen and a half mutants has a normal name, a superhero name and at least one superpower. For example, Oscar-winner Halle Berry plays (badly) Ororo Munroe, a.k.a. Storm, who has the uncanny ability to make it blow big time. Multiply these three data points by 18 mutants and you get 54 facts you're supposed to keep straight. What fun!

Some even have multiple powers. Logan/Wolverine is a mutant with both a cast-iron skeleton and, when he gets shot in the head, an amazing knack at squeezing bullets out using the supermuscle between his ears. Or something like that. Maybe I'm confusing crucial details, so, X-Men buffs, please send me long letters setting me straight. The more exhaustive and condescending the better!

Did I mention that "X2" is also thuddingly loud, and that it goes on -- and on -- for two hours and 15 minutes, a full half hour longer than the relatively painless first installment?

OK, OK, I'll stop venting. I will admit that "X2" will sell huge numbers of tickets and perfectly satisfy most of its customers.

My crankiness just exemplifies the standard problem with us film critics: you don't normally get a fun job being paid to watch movies until you are too old to enjoy them.

What crankiness? Posted by Orrin Judd at May 1, 2003 6:44 PM