THE DELIGHTFUL PERSISTENCE OF DOUBLE STANDARDS

Mother's Day a letdown: study Dads expect, get less (Chris Lackner, May 10, 2003, National Post)

Most mothers report feeling disappointment on Mother's Day, despite receiving more attention than fathers do on Father's Day, a new study has found.

"Mothers have higher expectations of how the day should go," said Nicole Gilbert, the author of a study that compares the two holidays and a graduate student at Mount Holyoke College, Mass. "Fathers don't have expectations and are less likely to be disappointed."

Ms. Gilbert said mothers' high expectations are likely the result of all the advertising and media attention devoted to the day.

But according to the 53 married couples she interviewed for the study, mothers reported feeling unhappy on their day because of such disappointments as lacklustre gifts, family strife and whiny children.

She also found even those couples who expressed egalitarian ideas on gender roles in marriage embraced traditional stereotypes when it came to their celebrations.

"There's a difference in belief and [action]," she said.

Fathers, for example, are less likely to be taken out for dinner, perhaps because of their traditional role as providers, Ms. Gilbert said. Mothers are more likely to visit extended family members on their day.

Mother's Day celebrations emphasize nurturing female stereotypes, Ms. Gilbert said. Gifts are typically flowers, taking mothers out to dinner and relieving them of household chores for the day.

Fathers' gifts are usually related to employment and athletic pursuits -- for example, a tie, golf clubs or hunting equipment.

Sixty-two per cent of mothers said their holiday includes doing fewer of the family chores, while only 29% of fathers reported that. And almost 85% of mothers reported being taken out for dinner as opposed to 64% of fathers.

Ah, yes, Mother's Day, when you can get in trouble not for not getting a card but for not buying it far enough ahead. Posted by Orrin Judd at May 10, 2003 8:40 AM