HOCKEY GOES TO THE DOGS:

Man bites dog! (Greg Garber, ESPN.com)

As the deadline for war inexorably approaches and the national economy hovers on the brink of collapse, we turn -- like so many generations before us -- to sport for escape.

We turn to the uplifting, heartwarming story of Harvey the Hound.

Unlike the contrived tension of "reality television," this is a fascinating parable of good vs. evil, right vs. wrong -- a tongue-twister, if you will. It is the tale of man's best friend triumphing over man himself.

Back on Jan. 20, when the world was a more innocent place, the Edmonton Oilers visited the Calgary Flames in a hockey contest that has come to be known as the "Battle of Alberta." Who could have imagined that the greatest mayhem would be waged not on the ice, but behind the Edmonton bench?

It was late in the third period, with the Flames leading 4-0, and Harvey the Hound, Calgary's colorful mascot, was dancing, giddy in the anticipation of victory.

"He comes to the rink, and he cheers our team on," explained Flames' right wing Jarome Iginla. "He does everything by the book. He doesn't try to get on anybody's nerves. He's just out there enjoying himself.

"He was leaning over the glass, trying to see what was going on with the Oilers' bench. And then ..."

"...all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a quick hand grabbed his tongue and just ripped it out," remembered Calgary center Craig Conroy. "It was almost ... it was unspeakable."

Edmonton coach Craig MacTavish, already seething over the Oilers' inept performance, reached up and yanked the tongue right out of Harvey's mouth. After holding it briefly aloft, MacTavish -- wearing a grin that seemed to blur somewhere between triumph and embarrassment -- tossed the tongue into the crowd behind him.

"Certainly, it shocked everyone," said Flames goalie Jamie McLennan. "It was very emotional for everyone. The image was played over and over again. I'm sure it was burned into people's minds. I think it's the responsibility of parents to sit their children down and tell them how these things happen and how they unfold." [...]

Predictably, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals were outraged.

"There is never any excuse for cruelty to animals," said Dan Shannon of PETA. "Harvey the Hound was just acting on his instincts as a dog."

When we were kids the players beat each other up and no one minded. Life was so much simpler... Posted by Orrin Judd at March 13, 2003 1:22 PM