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Man accused of having sex with chicken (Pet Abuse, 05/30/2001)

After chicken feathers and blood were found all over a room at Valparaiso Motel on Monday, Valparaiso police were called to investigate.

The room was found to have been rented Sunday night to Michael Bessigano, a 30-year-old Valparaiso man with a history of harming and having sex with animals. Police questioned Bessigano on Tuesday, and police said he admitted he had sex with a chicken. Bessigano was booked into Porter County Jail on a felony animal cruelty charge. Because this is the third crime against animals he's been charged with, he also is being charged as a habitual offender, said Chief Deputy Prosecutor Brian Gensel. He faces up to 7 1/2 years in prison if convicted of both charges.

Charles Murtaugh recently eschewed profanity, apparently out of deference to my delicate sensibilities, so, to repay the kindness and demonstrate a similar flexibility, I thought I'd tell a risque joke that a story similar to this--which they were discussing on Imus this morning on Monday--reminded me of:

A pilot is shot down over Greece in WWII and some shepherds agree to hide him overnight.

So they're all sitting around the campfire and the pilot says: "I gotta ask you guys something. All my life I've heard about how you guys have sex with your sheep and how great it is, because of the lanolin or whatever. Do you really do it?"

They all laugh and tell him: "No, no, no...don't be silly."

But later on he notices that every once in a while someone will sneak away from the fire and when they come back the other shepherds joke with them. So the pilot says to himself: They are scrumping those sheep and they just don't want to share. They're making a fool of me.

So he too sneaks down to the flock, picks out a sheep and shags it.

But when he gets back to the camp the shepherds are all laughing hysterically and pointing at him. So he says: "You guys were telling the truth weren't you? You don't really have sex with sheep?"

When one of the shepherds can catch his breath he says: "Of course we have sex with them--it's awesome."

Pilot: "Then what's so funny?"

Shepherd: "You picked the ugliest one."

Posted by Orrin Judd at October 29, 2002 10:36 AM