AU REVOIR, MR. BASSINGER :

Dear Mr. Baldwin:

Upon hearing of your upcoming visit to the Garden State, the Republican State Committee would like to provide you with an opportunity to put your passport where your mouth is.

We are referring to your widely publicized promise that you would leave the country if George W. Bush was elected President. Given that it has been nearly two years since President Bush was elected, we can only assume you still reside in the United States because you cannot afford the cost of an airline ticket abroad. (Rumor has it you were forced to refund the $8.50 to everyone who saw your last movie, "State and Main.")

That being said, the Republican State Committee recognizes you as a man of your word and would like to help you fulfill your promise by purchasing for you, on behalf of all Americans, a one-way ticket to Paris, France. We have attached several itineraries for September 12th, the date you will be attending the Camden County Democrats' Gala, departing from New Jersey's own Newark Liberty International Airport.

Please respond at your earliest convenience so we can make the appropriate reservations (if we book early and get a good rate, we may be able to send Barbra Streisand with you). We will also provide transportation to the airport, as we have received offers from many patriotic New Jerseyans who are more than willing to assist in your departure.

Au revoir. Don?t let the door of the Boeing 764 hit you in the derrière on the way out.

Sincerely,
Mike DuHaime
Executive Director
New Jersey Republican State Committee

Some things you wouldn't wish on even the French... Posted by Orrin Judd at September 7, 2002 1:14 PM