COMING TO AMERICA :

SUBURBIA: A CELEBRATION (Patrick Ruffini, 07.03.02)

For the first time in my adult life, I'll be voting in a precinct that gives — now, get this — at least 40% of its votes to Republicans! (2000 percentage for George W. Bush, 43.28%; percentage for George Allen, 40.67%, and for kicks, here's a map of how the entire D.C. area voted for President in the 2000 election.) I will no longer have to endure the stifling conformity of Dupont Circle, where polos and khakis are so unwelcome. I will no longer have to stand people, with their 'Taxation Without Representation' sloganeering, who think that Eleanor Holmes Norton's right to cast procedural votes is tantamount to their right to breate. (Relax. I agree with you guys on the No Taxation part.) And most of all, I won't miss those smarmy goateed urbanites prancing around with their 'Martin Sheen is My President' buttons and exuding their pukish version of Francophilia. Not for one minute.

Here's our prediction : a few summers of listening to Orioles games in suburbia and Mr. Ruffini will drink Maxwell House (black, of course), will think French is just the dressing you marinate flank steak in, and won't even notice the next World Cup thing. Posted by Orrin Judd at July 3, 2002 11:19 AM