August 11, 2004

WOULDN'T THE KEROSENE RUIN THE TASTE? (via The Wife):

Filipino Family Accused of Eating Relative (Fox News, August 10, 2004)

Four members of a family have been arrested and charged with murder for allegedly killing and eating a relative during a wedding reception — and serving his flesh to unwitting party guests, police said Tuesday.

At the July 17 wedding of his daughter, Eladio Baule got angry with his cousin Benjie Ganay who tripped and accidentally touched the bride's bottom, said Senior Police Inspector Perla Bacuel, at Narra town in Palawan province, southwest of Manila.

A few hours later, Baule, his son Gerald, another cousin Junnie Buyot and a nephew, Sabtuari Pique, allegedly confronted Ganay, then drove him to a secluded place where they stabbed him to death, Bacuel said.

Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said.


What are you supposed to do when someone gropes your bride?

Posted by Orrin Judd at August 11, 2004 01:26 PM
Comments

People . . .
People who eat . . . people
Are the yuckiest people in the world . . . .

--Barbara Streisand

Posted by: Mike Morley at August 11, 2004 01:52 PM

At least they tried to keep it in the family.

Posted by: ratbert at August 11, 2004 02:50 PM

The lawyers for the four are apparently going to blame the nephew, who in turn will offer an insanity defense. As the head lawyer explained: "The victim was killed in a fit of Pique."

They would've blamed the cousin, but they didn't think the jury would "Buyot".

I'd continue, but I can't think of any puns involving two guys named Baule.

Posted by: Just John at August 11, 2004 05:46 PM

Benjie Ganay was killed by blue Baule.

(Where the fishing boats...).

Posted by: Michael Herdegen at August 11, 2004 07:48 PM

Muslims would have killed the bride. It's what they call an 'honor killing'.

Posted by: Uncle Bill at August 12, 2004 11:36 AM

Since the Philippines is a devoutly Catholic country, and since weddings are about sex, weddings there are very weird events.

One of my best friends described hers in Manila, and while it did not involve cannibalism, it was disgusting.

Posted by: Harry Eagar at August 13, 2004 02:15 PM

Never mind the Phillippines, try Baltimore.

A writing collaborator of mine is a country preacher in Southern Pennsylvania. He says every time he's been tapped to do a wedding in Baltimore, something weird and/or gross and/or destructive has happened at either the ceremony or the reception. I kid him about "Baltimore Weddings" all the time.

Posted by: Ken at August 13, 2004 08:29 PM
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