March 9, 2019

NEVER ALONE:

Into the woods: how one man survived alone in the wilderness for 27 years : At the age of 20, Christopher Knight parked his car on a remote trail in Maine and walked away with only the most basic supplies. He had no plan. His chief motivation was to avoid contact with people. This is his story (Michael Finkel,  15 March 2017, The Guardian)

Knight said that he couldn't accurately describe what it felt like to spend such an immense period of time alone. Silence does not translate into words. "It's complicated," he said. "Solitude bestows an increase in something valuable. I can't dismiss that idea. Solitude increased my perception. But here's the tricky thing: when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. There was no audience, no one to perform for. There was no need to define myself. I became irrelevant."

The dividing line between himself and the forest, Knight said, seemed to dissolve. His isolation felt more like a communion. "My desires dropped away. I didn't long for anything. I didn't even have a name. To put it romantically, I was completely free."

Virtually everyone who has tried to describe deep solitude has said something similar. "I am nothing; I see all," wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. Lord Byron called it "the feeling infinite". The American mystic Thomas Merton said that "the true solitary does not seek himself, but loses himself".

For those who do not choose to be alone - like prisoners and hostages - a loss of one's socially created identity can be terrifying, a plunge into madness. Psychologists call it "ontological insecurity", losing your grip on who you are. Edward Abbey, in Desert Solitaire, a chronicle of two six‑month stints as a ranger in Utah's Arches National Monument, said that being solitary for a long time "means risking everything human". Knight, meanwhile, didn't even keep a mirror in his camp. He was never once bored. He wasn't sure, he said, that he even understood the concept of boredom. "I was never lonely," Knight added. He was attuned to the completeness of his own presence rather than to the absence of others.

"If you like solitude," he said, "you are never alone."

Posted by at March 9, 2019 6:18 AM

  

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