November 10, 2004

TOOTSIE, THE SOCIAL DARWINIST:

Hoffman reveals his doggy plan for world peace (Annanova)

Dustin Hoffman says man could learn how to preserve world peace by the following the example of dogs.

Hoffman says there would be less conflict if, like dogs, humans first sniffed each other out before deciding whether or not to fight.

Writing in the December issue of Playboy, The Graduate star says, "If a lot of dogs are on the beach, the first thing they do is smell each other's a***.

"The information that's gotten somehow makes pacifists out of all of them. I've thought, 'If only we smelled each other's a**, there wouldn't be any war.'"


So speaks a man who's never read Call of the Wild.

Posted by Orrin Judd at November 10, 2004 2:40 PM
Comments

Actually, if Americans got close enough to smell most Arabs and Europeans, there would be a whole lot of fighting going on.

Posted by: ratbert at November 10, 2004 3:02 PM

Hoffman's clearly on to a deep understanding here. I mean, who has ever seen two dogs fight?

Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at November 10, 2004 3:25 PM

Yeah, pit bulls really get along.

Posted by: pchuck at November 10, 2004 3:46 PM

I dunno. He was after all saying this for a Playboy article. Perhaps this occurred at the Playboy mansion, and he was looking around at Miss January, February, March..... and decided, subconsciously of course, if only I could smell that ***.

Posted by: AllenS at November 10, 2004 3:47 PM

Highly recommend that all these people read the collected works of London every few years.

Posted by: Rick T. at November 10, 2004 3:58 PM

Not only has he never read "Call of the Wild" but given that he can still recommend sniffing someone's ass, he's probably never done that either.

Posted by: Mike at November 10, 2004 4:08 PM

He is obviously the perfect citizen to comfort poor Babs in these bewitching times.

Posted by: Pilgrim at November 10, 2004 4:25 PM

All dogs on Santa Monica beach must be on a leash. No wonder they're pacified.

Posted by: Fred Jacobsen (San Fran) at November 10, 2004 4:39 PM

My God! And we failed to LISTEN to these people??

We're doomed. Doomed, I say.....

Posted by: Andrew X at November 10, 2004 5:08 PM

As one who believes in the unique place of mankind in creation, I've always held that the way to prevent war is to smell one another's armpits.

Posted by: Peter B at November 10, 2004 5:26 PM

There's room here to throw in an Andrew Sullivan double-entendre. I just can't bring myself to do it.

Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at November 10, 2004 6:19 PM

Leaving aside the possibilities for comments of the vulgar variety, let's just speak to doggie behavior. Sniffing somehow lets dogs know which one of them is the top dog and fighting is avoided unless the smell test produces no clear winner. Then there's what is known as "a dog fight." Yes, a dog fight's what we call a fight between two fighter pilots. The name came from two dogs fighting. Wow. Art imitates life! If only the pilots could smell each other, but no that wouldn't work.

Dustin Hoffman, court jester of the Hollywood dogs, would like this harmless way to establish top dog be followed by world leaders, so war could be avoided. Dusty, just look around at the world leaders around you. Do you really think there's any doubt which one would be top dog?

What an idiot?


Posted by: erp at November 10, 2004 6:58 PM

Ole Dustin's been sniffing something.

And it ain't dogs.

Posted by: Barry Meislin at November 11, 2004 2:26 AM

Truman Capote:

(paraphrasing (a bit))

'Actors are stupid.'

Posted by: JonofAtlanta at November 11, 2004 10:27 AM
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