December 24, 2003


Jesus Rules in the Sequel: Santa, the Eastern Temple Worms and the Dragons of Destruction may make for a good story, but in the end they pale by comparison (Paul Park, 12/22/03, LA Times)

My son, Lucius, is bored with bedtime stories. He's sick of the sequels, Rumplestiltskin II, etc. So he sketches an alternative: Jesus and his best friend, Santa Claus, travel to Asia to fight their enemy — the Eastern Temple Worms.

He's already figured out the plot, and there's a lot that's good, especially a scene about halfway through in which Jesus lays down his own life for a tactical advantage. Santa, regaining consciousness after being knocked out, kneels in the snow in his red pants, weeping over the body of his friend. Then he struggles on alone, overweight, out of breath, lugging his huge sack of toys, to confront the worms.

I'm surprised by my son's grasp of Jesus' role in the drama — something he has not gotten from me. It has been a long time since I have tempted fate by bringing him inside a church.

It is obvious, however, that the character of Santa Claus is larger in his mind, a cult figure to be propitiated at all costs. Santa's got all the accessories: the reindeer, the sleigh, the leather belt, the belly. But as the old elf slogs through burning buildings and over butchered carcasses, you have to be a little worried: Will his celebrated merriness be enough to see him through?

Posted by Orrin Judd at December 24, 2003 7:06 AM

I thought it was the black guy that always gets whacked?

Posted by: Robert D at December 24, 2003 8:07 PM