September 13, 2003


Plot to assassinate Arafat feared (Ala Mashharawi, 12/09/2003, Gulf News)

Palestinians have thrown a tight security cordon around President Yasser Arafat fearing his assassination by unconventional means that could be construed as "a natural death", highly informed sources told Gulf News yesterday.

The new security steps include searching and clo-se monitoring of all Arafat's visitors. The sources said that one speculated method of assassination could be the direction of poisonous rays towards Arafat's brain.

These rays can cause palpitations in the heart leading to a failure of brain resulting in gradual stop in breathing and ultimate death.

"It is only curable by a specific antidote as in the bungled assassination of Khaled Mashal the head of Hamas political bureau in Jordan several years ago," the sources said.

Fools! Your puny bodies won't protect him from our Death Ray! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Evil reptilian kitten-eater from space? (GRAEME SMITH, 9/13/03, Globe & Mail)

The increasingly nasty tone of Progressive Conservative rhetoric in the Ontario election campaign reached a point that made even Tory Leader Ernie Eves uncomfortable yesterday after his staff issued a press release calling Liberal Leader Dalton McGuinty "an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet."

though the Canadians do at least appear to be kidding...

Posted by Orrin Judd at September 13, 2003 11:18 AM

HEY! Some of my best friends are non-evil ailurovorous xenosaurs!

Posted by: Just John at September 13, 2003 4:47 PM

If we ever really, really wanted to hurt the Middle East, no nukes are required. We'd just have to put in place a full embargo of all non-indiginous technology. Within a generation they might not have the Caliphate restored, but they'd have the Caliphate's transportation, communications, agriculture, sanitation, medicine and life expectency.

Islam has become a Cargo Cult drowning by oil.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at September 13, 2003 4:51 PM

Are these death rays related to hair rays?

Posted by: Mike Earl at September 13, 2003 9:53 PM

Don't they know that tin foil hats block the death rays.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at September 14, 2003 8:46 PM
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